


Snakes and Ladders

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [51]
Category: Markiplier fandom - Fandom, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Birthday Post, Flowers, M/M, Remus is a trashy rat boi, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Thinly concealed death threats, but he’s Deceit’s trashy rat boy, fluff at the end, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22545787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: Deceit goes to confront Dark about messing around in Deceit’s business. It’s not exactly how Deceit thought he’d be spending his birthday.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: Masks and Maladies [51]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Kudos: 58





	Snakes and Ladders

The League was a carefully walked tightrope. With people like Wilford and Anti who could be as murderous as they were impulsive, and Google who had his own murderous streak to boot, a villain of any renown or ability had to learn to read the room.

Deceit prided himself on being the best at reading any situation he was in. The Light Sides had taught him a couple things: they were never going to trust a known liar; and two, he wouldn’t last. Patton’s crutch was to be ethically accepted, and Logan refused to help Deceit convinced Patton that he was wrong. Then there was Roman. Gullible, excitable, energetic Roman.

The League was the only beneficial choice for him and Remus.

So he was standing in the hollowed out shell of the abandoned orphanage that the police had tried to investigate before it had been set on fire. So he was standing in it, an illusion over the dark Side to make him look like a perfect copy of Dark on the outside. However because of the fact he didn’t know Dark nearly as well as he knew the other Sides it was more like an outer shell at best. If he tried to use Dark’s pockets it would shatter the illusion almost completely because they weren’t functional.

It took a bit longer than Deceit thought it would for Dark to confront him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Dark growled at him, stepping out of the Void.

Deceit made a show of checking a watch on his wrist, “Getting your attention. We’re overdue a long conversation.”

Dark clasped his hands behind his back, “If I wanted to have a conversation with myself I would have brought a mirror and just took your head off your shoulders instead.”

The trickster side just smiled, and turned back into himself. His typical smug look on his face. “I needed a place the heroes wouldn’t overhear. A place they gave up on seemed like a good location.

The Entity still didn’t look too impressed, motioning with a hand for Deceit to continue. An air of impatience heavy in the room, a shrill ringing that always accompanied Dark’s presence. “Leave Anxiety to me, he was my apprentice, he is my problem. Stay out of it.”

Dark chuckled a bit, as if finding this conversation endearing instead of insultive. Something Dee didn’t believe for a second. He took a couple steps forward. “You were a big fish in a very small pond. So I suggest you tread very carefully before I throw you off this building and see how functional you can make your illusions.”

Deceit dared to scoff, taking his own step or two forward. “Remus would stop listening to you if you did, I am the only one who could ever hope to contain him. Unless you want a fourth chaotic entity in the city you have to manage, I don’t think I’ve run all the sand in my hourglass out quiet yet.

The greyscale Entity seemed to give it some actual thought, but whether he was seriously considering just following through with murder or just maiming Deceit wasn’t clear, “Careful, shapeshifter, overstep your bounds too much and you might get your toes cut off. That’s usually not very lethal.”

“What are you using Anxiety for, you’ve killed more important to you over less?” Deceit demanded.

“ _Virgil_ has some sort of honor to him, very useful, if a bit gullible,” Dark bragged. “How you thought he was ever suited for the League is beyond me, it was obvious for me from day one that he lacked both the bite and the determination needed.”

“They why humor us?” Deceit scoffed, not showing the visible discomfort he had at Dark knowing Virgil’s chosen name. “His powers?”

Dark chuckled at that, “That might be true, if he wasn’t obviously petrified of his own power. No, it got boring to watch him fumble about and it became abundantly clear to all of us that you have no plans on following him.”

“If you have no need for him within the League, leave Anxiety out of your business,” Deceit warned. “You have enough thugs.”

“Oh, you and the heroes can have him back, after he completes his end of the bargain,” Dark threatened. “I gave him a chance to back out, and he didn’t take it.”

“If he’s done, I suppose you’ll be done with him?” Deceit asked.

At Deceit’s words, Dark just laughed. “Yes, I suppose, no matter what he returns to me with, I doubt he’ll be of much further use to me. Not with that pathetic doctor and the rest of the heroes taking pity on him. You should have been rid of him years ago.”

“And should be rid of that puppet you have at city hall,” Deceit warned. “You can practically see its hinges and strings when you move it.”

“My business is not of your concern,” Dark growled.

“Leave Anxiety be, and I won’t care about what you do at city hall,” Deceit threatened back.

Dark just smiled again, and Deceit decided that Dark’s smile was probably his most obvious lie he had. They were dangerously close, but Deceit made sure not to flinch. The Entity was obviously waiting for it, like a wolf surveyed a herd for its old and feeble.

“Then you better help him find what I want, so that you can have him back,” Dark ordered. “Like I said, he’s unfit for the League.”

“You better,” Deceit reminded.

“Well I have to say,” Dark’s smile didn’t fade, neither had the ringing. “You never cease to amaze me, Deceit. You and your little attempts to undermine me. If you weren’t so useful, I probably would have killed you by now. But I’ll offer you this, I’ll give you back Virgil immediately if you can tell me one thing.”

“Which is?” Deceit was eager to just be done with this whole mess.

“I want Captain Morality’s real name,” Dark told him. “Or I want him brought to me alive. I can have him unmasked either way.”

It took every ounce of control and illusions not to show any type of emotion. Not the concern and actual fear he felt at whatever had gotten _Patton_ of all people singled out by Dark and not Logic. Or the desperate clawing need to get Virgil untangled from Dark’s network.

So he managed a chuckle, “Morality? What could that manchild be doing that could threaten you or your Network?”

Dark didn’t like that, his aura starting to curl around Deceit’s feet, “It is my belief that he’s seen something. I aim to figure out what he knows and strangle it out of him. The issue is, as far as Gainesville documents suggest, he has no paper trail beyond his superheroics. Which couldn’t possibly be true, because Average and Marvin have paper trails, so Morality is either being hidden by someone.”

Deceit felt a dangerous tap at his chest, glancing down to see Dark’s aura before casually looking back at Dark’s face.

“Or he’s not nearly who I think he is, and I’m looking in the wrong place.”

“So, I get you the oblivious Captain, and Anxiety is mine?” Deceit inclined his head, going for nonchalance.

“Immediately,” Dark promised, still smiling.

“I’ll give it some thought,” Deceit dismissed. “Morality is no threat, and I’m more intrigued by your need to have him over his cohorts, than turning him in.”

“Either way, I will find what I want to know,” Dark took a step away. “Besides, you’ve given me enough information to start.”

“Best of luck,” Deceit smiled.

Then Dark stepped through a tear in the Void, leaving Deceit _“alone”_ with nothing but the city below and silence.

Checking the streets, Deceit turned into Logic in full costume and left the scene. A couple citizens tried to stop him, but Deceit gave his best impersonation of the side he knew all too well.

He just went back to the apartment he’d been staying at with the other Dark Sides. He felt drained and didn’t want to loop Dark around to Patton. As frustrating and infuriating as all the _“Light Sides”_ could be, they were still Sides. Deceit still needed Virgil if he was ever going to form the Dragon Witch again. The serpentine Side was almost positive that if he was ever going to be Thomas again he needed Logan.

The instant he walked in, Remus physically jumped on him. The unexpected attack almost knocking Deceit over.

“Do you mind?” Deceit glared at him. He took stock of the apartment to find that, to his amazement it wasn’t completely trashed. Orange was on the couch, watching the Room, ignoring both of them.

“Hey, Dee,” Remus smiled, face dangerously close to Deceit’s.

Deceit grumbled, “Remus, you need to take a bath, you smell like sour garbage.”

The dark green villain just smiled, “Why thank you Dee, I’ve been dying to know when you would recognize my new cologne.”

He gave a little shoulder shimmy against Deceit’s arm.

“Ugh,” Deceit pushed him away. “Get off of me, before you make me smell like you.”

“So how’d the meeting go?” Remus asked.

“As well as could be expected,” Deceit took off his fedora to get some ash from the burned out shell he’d been in off of it. “Virgil’s gotten himself into trouble and Patton is not helping.”

“When will they learn to enjoy life?” Remus jumped onto the little table they had, assuming what he usually called his _“paint me like one of your French boys”_ pose. “They’re no fun, Patton least of all. I mean, he’s even making Virge boring.”

Before Deceit could do anything more than stare at his hat, trying to figure out how to frantically dig the other Sides out of the hole they were digging for all of them, Remus took the fedora and placed it on his own head.

“Look at me,” Remus said in a poorly constructed Deceit impresion, even holding his hand up to pretend like it was talking. “I’m Deceit, I whine about everything, and worry too much to have any fun. Blah. Blah. Blah.”

Deceit glared at him, “Give me my hat back.”

Remus shrugged and took it off, reaching his whole arm inside the hat. Which was a talent that would have worried Deceit if he hadn’t become completely desensitized to it years ago. His face scrunched up and Deceit was mentally braced for the intrusive Side to pull out just about anything. He’d once reached in and used his powers to pull out a dead pigeon for a laugh, and that was currently on the hopeful end of Deceit’s expectations.

But to Deceit’s surprise he pulled out a beautiful lion heart lily. The yellow tips perfectly curled. The black and yellow flower looking out of place in Remus’s hand. Remus handed the hat, now looking like it was full of the black and yellow lilies, and knelt on the table to place the lily he’d been holding behind Deceit’s ear. “Happy birthday, my little snake.”

Deceit was completely speechless, just staring at Remus as he took his hat back, looking down at the flowers. Finally he managed out a, “Thank you.”

As if completely unaware of the effect he was having on the other Side, he jumped off the table like a feral raccoon, almost knocking the whole thing over.

“I’m bored, let’s go bother Roman,” Remus decided.

“Sure,” Deceit smiled at the flowers, gathering all five of them up in his hand to admire them.

“Then we can steal an ice cream truck,” Remus grinned.

“Sure,” Deceit was still admiring the flowers, remember to take the lily behind his ear and place it with the others.

“And drive it into the hero’s base,” he summoned a glass vase with skulls and snakes on it.”

“Sounds like fun,” Deceit placed the flowers inside the vase. He carefully set it on the kitchen counter.

“Come on,” Remus told him, grabbing his hand in his. “Ory, try to burn the house down for me, I never got around to it.”

Orange flipped him off, but Deceit could only laugh, his mood greatly improved.

“Let’s go,” Remus pulled him out of the apartment, the two off to cause trouble.

With a hand still tangled in Remus’s, Deceit had to admit, as frustrating as Remus could be, he was a familiar type of frustrating. And the Deceit would take that over any type of villain or hero in the city.

**Author's Note:**

> Look up the lion heart lily, I love it, it’s a funky little flower that reminds me of Deceit.


End file.
